”One can only live while one is intoxicated with life; as soon as one is sober it is impossible not to see that it is all a mere fraud and a stupid fraud!”  Tolstoy.

I have all the attributes of a drug addict, without the chemical materials to substantiate that character. I’m constantly seeking the challenge and intensity of the highs, and when I get them, I start to regret leaving behind the mellowness of the non-days. Then, once the demented period is over, I am itching for the manic levels once more. I can’t sit still. I can’t decide if I can make a decision to make up my mind to know what it is that I want…so for now, I’l just take it as it comes. Easy day today, maybe a hard day tomorrow, but concentrate on only changing the manic!/relaxed! record to fit the day today and stop worrying about when a particular period will end, when it will come back, and how I’ll manage it all when it does return. I think, after the last year, I should have confidence in the fact that I’ll manage just fine. 

xBlanaid